everything is so beautiful 'til you take a look around

近來有點看清楚人的嘴臉，大家原來也是以己為先，連自己也好不了那裡。但我想不到是，大家是那麼的容不下其他人，不是我的就是他的。大家互相敵視/分化又有何用? 那真是很累人。

人類最大的敵人還是人類。- 新世紀エヴァンゲリオン

看來又是時候重溫新世紀エヴァンゲリオン了的時候.......

erik erikson

有一個psychosocial development theory，話說每個人一生也會經歷不同的stage。今晚特別覺得自己還未pass那個intimacy vs isolation的stage。唉....
老早就知道自己是一個negative bastard，根本與普通人合不來，還是做個平凡的火星人，慢慢躲在洞穴吧。

best, you've got to be the best... 回家途上聽著Matthew Bellamy唱....yeah, you've got to be the best

看來，還是趕快認識些model........kawaii, i'm loving it!

we're all waiting

孩童時想著長大，希望多些自由，做些喜歡的事；希望可以甩掉囉唆的父母，少聽煩氣的聲音。又等待the right one出現，現在的那個總不像是真命天子。等等等……長大了，父母仍在身旁囉唆，自由不見得多了很多，責任卻是一窩而來。在關係中穿梭，還是在等那個right one。後來父母的囉唆也不在，發覺the right one是人家的另一半來。我們再等吧，待命運的安排，the best is yet to come。

This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. ~ Fight Club

we're all waiting...........

那真是非常晴朗的天氣

給某人



將遺傳自媽媽的紅髮 綁成兩束辮子搖動著
到底是為了什麼 至今仍思索著 卻還是不了解呢
靜靜地站在座位上 緊握著剪刀將辮子剪了下來

那真是非常晴朗的天氣
我本以為未來什麼的都不需要的
無力的我 連話語的選擇也不能
只有回家路上的味道 是那麼溫柔
“活得下去的”我那樣想
教室中有人笑了起來 那真是非常晴朗的天氣

沒有了頭髮 接下來 試著割了手腕 割到不能再割為止
感覺得到溫熱 用滿是鮮血的手臂 翩翩跳起舞來
你已不在了 那裡什麼都沒有了
只有太陽依然刺眼

那真是非常晴朗的天氣
連哭都哭不出來 只因 大地如此無窮
萬物如此美麗 我身穿白衣 站得遠遠地
沒有跟著排隊 輕輕地唱著歌
如果那天也像今天下著雨的話 我一定哭得出來

那真是非常晴朗的天氣
我本以為未來什麼的都不需要的
無力的我 連話語的選擇也不能
只有回家路上的味道 是那麼溫柔
“活得下去的”我那樣想
教室中有人笑了起來 那真是非常晴朗的天氣

- Cocco "Raining"

Isn't it good

數年前喜歡在ICQ info放上連結，連的網頁有我覺得適合形容我心情/想法的quotation。先前在電腦上東找找西找找，發覺到我曾經有這樣的一頁：

「你常一個人這樣子旅行？」（阿綠問。）

「對呀！」

「你喜歡孤獨嗎？」她托著腮說。「一個人旅行，一個人吃飯，上課一個人坐得遠遠的，喜歡這樣？」

「沒有人喜歡孤獨的。我只是不想勉強交朋友。如果那樣做，只會換來失望而已。」我說。

──《挪威的森林》．村上春樹

Norwegian Wood
John Lennon/Paul McCartney

I once had a girl
Or should I say she once had me
She showed me her room
Isn't it good Norwegian wood?
She asked me to stay
And she told me to sit anywhere
So I looked around
And I noticed there wasn't a chair
I sat on a rug biding my time
drinking her wine
We talked until two and then she said
"it's time for bed"

She told me she worked
in the morning and started to laugh
I told her I didn't
and crawled off to sleep in the bath
And when I awoke I was alone
This bird had flown
So I lit a fire
Isn't it good Norwegian wood?

prisoner's dilemma

he tried to break through all these walls
looking for the way to the heaven's door
fallen bricks leaving from behind
cold dead walls stood just before
warm blood dripping from his wounded fist
he chose to fight this weary war
but he forgot when the time he reached the end of the world
he is still trapped in a giant glass ball

Goodmorning

Gloria!

:D

Links:
Goodmorningloria - http://www.goodmorningloria.com/
A Asterisk Music - http://www.aasteriskmusic.com/

離開，是為了回來……

Celine: I remember as a teenager I went to Warsaw when it was still a strict communist regime. Something about being there was very interesting. After a couple of weeks, something changed in me. The city was quite gloomy and gray but after a while, my brain seemed clearer. I was writing more in my journal, ideas I'd never thought of before. But it took me a while to figure out why I felt so different. One day, as I was walking through the Jewish cemetery. I don't know why, but it occurred to me there. I realized that I had spent the last two weeks away from most of my habits. TV was in a language I didn't understand, there was nothing to buy, no advertisements anywhere, so all I'd been doing was walk around, think and write. My brain felt like it was at rest, free from the consuming frenzy. It was almost like a natural high. I felt so peaceful inside. No strange urge to be somewhere else to shop. It could have seemed like boredom at first but it became very, very soulful.
- Before Sunset



同事旅行回來，令我也想到外地走走。八月時去了台北，短短三天半，離開香港的感覺剛開始，就是回家的時候。旅行的時候，我是那種希望四處走走看看就夠了的人，對吃喝玩樂沒有多大興趣。正如Celine所說，浸泡於陌生的地方，令思想沉澱下來，反而有點natural high的感覺。


情侶@台北九份 (2004)

上年十月北海道之行，旅程七、八天，最後數天就有這種natural high的感覺。那次匆匆的四處走，其實身體累得很，但心靈上的休息，我想在香港放多長的假期也及不上。年頭幻想過，今年年中可以一去Prague。可惜我一賺錢不多，二花錢太多，這個幻想實現之日遙遙無期……


小樽 ~ 《情書》拍攝之地

理想是，每年也至少一次出門，很安慰這兩年也實現了這個想法。但說來慚愧，大小的英國music fest也未去過。希望未來兩年內，暑假可以一去英國的Glastonbury Festival就於我足矣。

Links:
Before Sunset - http://www.beforesunset.com/
Glastonbury Festival - http://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/

頹廢時

又是想讀村上春樹之時。喜歡那抽離的感覺，不用與現實接軌。

上年讀《海邊的卡夫卡》，有與貓交談的大叔，今年就遇上了對貓唱歌的男人(還是應該稱他做大叔?哈哈)。手頭有的，還有《世界末日與冷酷異境》、《舞舞舞吧》，對《人造衛星情人》也很有興趣。說到村上，又要扯到《挪威的森林》。記得上年，讀過一篇岩井俊二的訪問，岩井說《情書》其實是改篇《挪威的森林》，是怕改得不好所以沒敢說是改篇。哈，我太差勁，一點也看不出《情書》和《挪威的森林》有什麼共通處。岩井還提到些詳細的關聯，不過挪威很久之前讀得了，很多東西也忘記了。短期內不會重讀，重讀的我也會選《發條鳥年代》。在網上賴明珠說譯好了村上悄悄出版的新書"After Dark"，我想下個月可以買到了。聽說是意識流作品，哎呀，年頭鼓起勇氣讀了劉以鬯的《酒徒》，好不令人頭痛……

常常也想多讀點書，總是集中不了停下來。還有很多書想讀，Calvino的"Our Ancestors"(《樹上的男爵》讀了一半，哎)，想找回"Big Fish"的原著，朋友推介的《過於喧囂的孤獨》。而很不幸地，近來都遇"書"不淑。"Da Vinci Code"就不說了，開頭還可以，後半真的白痴得不得了；連喜愛的Nick Hornby，"How To Be Good"同樣令人失望。可能讀讀classic會開心點，唔....書架上還有"The Old Man and the Sea"，看Before Sunset提到"Moby Dick"，又心癢想讀一讀。哈，讀什麼也好，還是先讀完手頭的"Flow: Psychology of Optimal Experience"吧。Kakaka...

說到村上又是這首歌出現的時候....
i once had a girl
or should i say she once had me....

下兩個星期私人生活較忙碌，和boss的farewell dinner、pacific coffee團，下星期的陳老師live show。最可惜是，星期五去不了看Gloria的live，嗚嗚.... >.<